


bangarand

by cherrypop321



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Sex, Suspense, Weed, battle to the death, lotion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 19:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrypop321/pseuds/cherrypop321
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the stroney of john egert, dave strider, and the mistake.</p><p>wanring: matereals not sutable 4 yonger than 13</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the babby machine

**Author's Note:**

> characher sommys- dave stide is 19 lives in the big city. he work at bed bath and boby works. he sell shapoo wears red evry day. john egbert is also 19 too. he smokes weed every day just like snoop dog said.

dave wnt to johns house. they livd in the big city. he to ok a cab to the house of john egbertg. when he was there he said "i brought free sampels"

john came out of his room because thats where he was when dave come in. "holy shite" john says (warning: do nnot use curses around your parents). dave poot the shampoo and the sope on the table. john smelld each one individulaly. "u like?" dave asked. "holey canoley that smells good" john reply. his favorit smell was lemon ginger snap butter lotion that dave brought. good thing he had a handy job at banth and body works!!!

want to get high, john said. "yeah totes lets pop a looby" (slang for smoke mariwana) dabe saind as he ponched john playfully in then arm.

they was sittin on the sofa. john get the weed. he take a smokey then pass it to dace and dave took a smoky to. soddenly josh started slowley rising up off the couch towards the ceiling. "its working," he whispered. dave nodded. john was getting high.

eventolly john was stuck on the ceiling. help he said. dave said ok but he was getting high too...and fast. "quick grab my axe before you get to high!" john shouted. dave grabed johns axe and swung the axe and broke through the ceiling with a crash....crash BANG crash *littel pieces of jons house fall off* crash booooooom. boom.

"ok phew" said john and dave. now that the ceiling was gone they could get even higher. they statred to fly into the sky. good thing john rememeberd his lotion.

what will happen next wait and see for next time.............


	2. wait

"ok wait how high r we aactually gona get" saind dave still hodeling the axe in his hand

"like 12 foots porbably" repiled john

"dude we past 12 foot like when we broke out tha house im pretty sure were like 86 or 87 maybe" dage retorted

"shute up im bad at math" john say

"sorry i forgot what do you want do do"

"fly arond follow me" johb swupe up by a clode and swupe down by a billding. he swupe by dave who is hold the axe. "wow you are really good at swuping" he said chenking john out. "yeah thanks" john took off his shoes they fell and landed on the ground that is 1000 miles away. 

"good idae" dave said and he tonk off his shoe to. he threw it at the grown. "we will never see the shoe again" said dave wonderly. 

"never" john said with a teer in his eye. the teer was not sadness it was because daves foots stink.

"u reek dude" john said. "shut u i have a smelly foot condition" said. "thats natsy im out" john flew higher into the clodes to escape the stinl. he flew up and up. wow it is breezy john thought. also loud.

what he did not know was that the loud came from a plain. the plain zoomed forward and john diod not know. the plain hit john and he splateted against the plain windwo and the plain dropped out of the sky and the plian crashed into the ground and explode into a 50 peces. also jon explode into 50 pecies. 

"WHAT HAPPEN" dave swuped down to nthe crash area just like john had showed him. their was a smoking plane with fire and blood. there was johns toe in a pile of rubble. a lone bottle of loton rolled out from under a metal thing.

what will happen next. sten tuned.


	3. hospitel rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnign: bad words

disaster strunk. in the heet of the monet dave threw the axe on the ground. "i will save you john egbe. i will save your life." 

dave pick up johns toe and look at it. for a toe it did not look that bad. alson it didnt really stink or anything. dave tooke a big breathe which inflait his chest then kiss the toe with much pashin. the smooche was so filled with love that suddelly john grew out of the toe in a blur of light. john was very cripspy with burns so dahe got the loton and put it on john. he was magically un crisped!! "lemon ginger snap butter," murmerd dave. he know.

still john was alsleeping. dave knew what do to. he quikely put his froot on johns nose and when john brethed in he got a big ol whiff of the stink. he jumped up. "mother of frock thats the nackiest thing i ever lade nose on!" exclamed john. 

"YOURE ALIVE dave said" dab. he hugged john and john hugged him to even tho he did not no that he dide and come back in life so dave tolled john he dine and came back to life and he said ok. "quik we need to get away this babeys gonna blow" dave pointed to the plain and grabbed his ax again. the 2 boys lounched into the air. in slow moto behind them the plape exploded. dave and john did not even turn around to see the boom they just keeep going. 

they flew until they got to the umpire state billding the talliest billding ever made. they stood on the roof of the umpire state billding. "john i am so happ y that your alive" said dave and he smilled and john. john said "i am happy too and gald that u are high with me" and he smilled at dave too. 

happy endong??? or not.............. tune in for next times champter


	4. zombobies?????????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapte - see you next time for next week!

back on the ground (not on the umpire state where john then dave arre) where the plain is. the plain exploned making peaces of plain get all over everthiong. fire started to burne stuff and smok clouds were in the air it was a DaNGEROUS.

johns body pats were in the fire to they started ta burn and then the lotio was burnin too. the lemone gonger snap butter fumes got burnd up in the air, also the fumes of jons ded body ( he came out th toe rememebr the res of his parts (49 peaces of jopn) are still in the fire and burning also). the burned up bodt mixed with the bunt up lotion. in the air a cloud of mysteriose smoke started making.

the lotiom smoke came down and setteld over the crash zoan. it touhched every body part, every body part startid to shake and gloow in a flash of like like johns tow did beofre. the shake became very fast and the light becake very bright.

when everything cleared 49 johns were standing in the rubbel.


	5. valentimes special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentimes! sorry 4 the delay i hope this very special chapeter makes up for it
> 
> warning: a litle sexual marterial

well as u know the many johns where on the ground in the reckage. but lets take a look at are young heros. what could dave and john (real john not a cloan) be up to this valentimes day? hmmm.......

jon and dave flenw away from the umpires state billding still also smiling both of them. they flew very low and travel the conutry like aladin on his crapet but they didnt have a carpet or anything they were just flyin and holding theyre hands. thet flew over a lake possibley 2 lake and many trees and pieceful animals. when they laned the landed in a field of flowers and johne had to pee so he went behind a tree and peed then he came out from behind the tree. he sit down in the flour next to dave.

"sure is beautifel out here" said daver looking at the sonset also the flowers also at john this kid was just looking at everything,

"yea dude" said john. he was looking at less things but still many things. one of those things was dave becasue john hat to admit his bro was hot stuff. his hair was very very blonde and his eyes were red like those ants that climb on trees sometimes and your not suppose to touch them.

dave was lookg at john too as i said because secretly in daves head he though that john was a very handsome creature of this earth. his skin was like the fancy chocolates your mom buys on christmas and you have to share but you really dont want to share but you share enyway and the chocolate dosent really taste as good as u thought it was gonna be but youre stull happy and you ask youre mom to buy the chocolates more and she says no these chocolates are sesonal witch means you can only get them at chirstmas time so you must wait until next year. also his hair was pretty nice.

dave was blushin when he thought about his friend john. he thougth of stuff he would want to do to johns body. like ride a bike. or touch his privates. john said why are you blushing you diddlepick and dave said oh no its no thing and john shruged and laid in the flowers. another secret is that john was very flusterd too but he hid it with funny insults and comady. 

the sun was verey low in the sky at this point and they were still laying in the flowers quitely. dave was feeling daring so he broak the silence by saying "yo john do you ever wonder what its like to touch a dudes primates?"

john pondert for a moment and said "idk dave that is a touchy subject for me."

"oh im sorry for bringig it up then" said dave poltitely

john smiled sneakily like a little jokestar. "by touchy subject i mean yea i was thinkin of getting touchy with youre subject." he moved closer to fave.

"ummmmmmm" dave said, he started to blish again.

"hmmmmmm" john said. he rap his arms around daves waits and then smoshed his face into daves neck/ sholder area and he sniffed a littel and yup it smelled like dave all right. thank goodens his rest of him didnt smell as bad as his feet6. dave reached around john and held him againts him and then fell backwards into the flowers. basically john was laying on tomp of dave now. "woah" said dave.

john said "you are my best bro but even bester than a best bro theres probaly not a word for it it in english but maybe in spanish or something. wow yeah." then he kissed daves eye dont worry it was closed. dave smiled and his face was so blushie and warm. he kissed john back but not on the eye because there was glassis in the way so he kissed his chek. dave said "dang yo" then he slided his hand under johns shirt and rubbed his back, a very smoath back, and then pulled the shirt compelety off. "its cold outside" john said. "yeah sux" repiled dave.

joins hands wondered to daves nipples which he rubed w/ his thumb like a petting zoo goat. dave said "gosh" and john laughed and kisst daved while dave gaver johns butt a lil squash. john was licking the nips now and dave was confused because he new john would not find the milk he was searching for but he decided to humor him. "good job john" said dave. john said nothing but continude to lick.

whehn john finallu realized their was no milk to be found he stopped with the nips. he gave daves tummy a smooche then startet to undo they zipper of his jeans. he looked up at dave and did not say a word. dave nod. he understand. 

john unzoped the zip and pulled daves pants off. then he took of his boxer shorts revealing the penis within. a truley perfect peen with a foreskin that glistend like silk and small pulsing vains. john toched it and it twitched a littel. "use this john" dave said as he pulled out the lemon gingers nap butter lotion. joho but a bit on hands and rubbed it around then held daves penis in his lubified hand. he stroket it like a baby animal and then kissed it very very softly. then he pomped it for a while, the lotio squeshing with every pump. dave moned and corled his hands in johns hair. "john" he said "im going to come"  
jog puimped faster now until dave cride out "holy peperoni!" and the milk john had been deasprate for before came spilling out. 

meanwhile there were many cloan johns up to something mysterious........tune in next time for the truth


	6. so maney john so little time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: violet chapter do not read if u dont like fighting or blood

49 john stood on the ground in the zoan of the exploshion talking to eachother nerversely.

"everybody quite" yelled one john. he was standind on some burt up airplain bits. "listen here. i am the real john all of you are fake john"

"that is lie!" andother john calld out. "im real john an YOU are the fake john!"

3 more johns emerge. "i am real john" they all say.

suddenlt all the johns are saying they are the real john all johns are yelling. the chaos begins."i will PROVE i am the real jojn!" this john picked up a long peice of medal from the ground and swinged it into another johns. the john fell down and blood began to bleed from him out the head. "every john for himselve" the john said with an evile grin.

one john punced another in the stomach and he sayd "uhg" and then fell down. a john with a rock therew the rock at the john whho punch the john in the stomach. the john witht the rock was tripped by a forth john. the battle ranged on until two johns remaned.

john 1s face was splattered with the blood of fallen johns. john 2 had no shirt and battle woonds from johns who went down fiting. "so this is it" sakd sohn 1. "yep" said john 2. the winner would be declaird the real john.

john 1 was trhe firts to move. he dove forward and nocked john 2 onthe ground then stood up. john 1 brough his foot down to stamp it but john 2 roled a way just in time. he grabed john 1s legs and yakned him to the floor then ponched his faceand blode came out fast his nose!!! john 1 hisst and put his hands a round john 2s throte. he squeesd and john 2 started to chock. john 2 scrached at john 1s hands but the vicious john would not let go no matter all the much that he struggled and tride. his face was turning blue. the end for john 2 was approching. "ciao, baka" said john 1.

but then with all of his final stength john 2 kocked john 1 in the shin and john 1 yelled and yelled. john 2 hasped for air as john 1 releast his hands to grabe at his shin. john 2 saw the perfet oppertunidy. as fast as a as a bolt off lightning he lanched himself into john 1 nocking him onto the ground. john 2 sat on john 1 pinnning his body under him. john 1s eyes were wide with feer as john 2 reached for a long sharp peice of glass from the reckage (mustev been from the plains windwo). "yes" said john 2 with a chuckle "i am going to be the real john once in foral" he was smiling an evil smile, blood and swet drippin off his face. "please dont kill me" john 1 pleaded. he strugled against john 2 but it was no use he began to cry but john 2 just laughed. he held the glass high above hes head and qukiley ramed it into john 1s neck. john 1 coughed blood into john 2s face while john 2 pulled the shard out for an other blow causing blod to spray out frim the cut. he shoved the glass in again this time thrusting it deeper unti he could feel the mussels popping inside john 1s neck. john 2 let go of the glasse and did not take iot out of the neck and john 1s eyes roled back in his head. he was dead.

john 2 stood up and looked proudly down at his work. he looked around at all the other johns in the reckage who did not survive. "sweat dreams" he said to john 1s body. he walked away slowly.

now only two john egberts are in this world. the one we all know and love and our new cloan john who we will now call johnny. where will johnny go? what are john and dave up too? find out nextime in bangarand chapter 7.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> r.i.p. john 1 (╯︵╰,)
> 
> by the way my tumbler is cherrypop321.tumblr.com please follow!!


	7. a fark in the roade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for so nice comments! thank you and have fun and enjoyment. if you can memory all the way back to chapter 5 john and dafe had just made poetic love with there bodysalso lotion. now we will pick off where left off with the two young man. beter chapter next tine i just need to get the true polt of the story rolling 0u0
> 
> warning: more sexule matereals also a few violence matereals: beware

after john licked up all the milk that had releesed from daves penis, dave notised that there was still lotion left in the bottel. john was looing for his pants in the flour patch but dave said "no john we are not done yet". 

"what else is there to do dave" sad john. "well johnathan if you must know we are going to use this lubrecate tohave some more fun. im gonna but it inside you" dave re

"dave holed on. i know that it is impossible to fit one penis insine another even with the proppar lubercate sodont even try to tell me that you can because you cant"

"no john i know that you cant do that that not the think i was gonna do. john what iim actually going to put my peepee in your...anus"

"HWAT!" john calsoped his hands over his mouth. "dave a buttwhole is not for penises. a buttwhole is for poop." 

"that is where you are rong. a buttwhole is for both. there is a speciel time for each one and now is the time for penis. truste me."

"ok"

dave puled out the lotuiond once more. he laid john on his back in the flowers and lifded his legs ip so his nees were bent and s-pred a part. he started by lutting the lotion on one finger an sniffing. yes, dave could tell that the lotiont was just as lemony and buttery as ever. he insertted the finger into jogh slowly and it slide in nicedly up to daves therd nuckel. "oh man" said john "that fees like a poop whent back into me" 

dave noded and contenude to push the finder in and out of hon. eventually he added a second and therd finget. john wasstarting to mone even tho it hurt a littel

"now the for the grand finally" said dave. he removed his fingers and then introdused a new: his penis. first he dumped the remaning lotion onn it (thjere was not much left ananyway because it was a free sampel bottle). then he began slowey than speed up. johnwas yelling cause it felt so goof and all through the flower feild you could here the slapping noise of testicles against bumbum. inside john he could feel all the penice mussels twiching inside. jiohn reached down to rob his own dick which was dripping already while dave kept hammaring his ass. "dave are so good" panted john. "i know said dave"

very soon johns milk escaped his mild hole. it splashed on both of them and john let out a groan of pleasanture. the sound of john made dave so crazie that soon he came too for the second tine in a day right into johns buttwhole. it was hot as the sand wamed by the dessert sun and stucky and as daved pulled out of john the cum spilled out to. dave laid down next the john and rapped his arms a round him. the cuddeld and smooch kissed for a long long time in the bueteful flour. "i love you" said john "i love you too" sayd dave, aand the smilde and rubbed theyre noses together.

\---

meanwhinle a not so happy hing

johnny toont a shirt offof another dead john so he could have one cause remember he wasnt waring one. he then picked up a nother bifg glass piesce to use as he wepin. "heh heh" said johnny with a evile grin "its time to power up"

johnny walked to the bed bath bath and bobby works which just so happen to be the one where dave work. he enter the door and the smell of fresh scents was in his nostrile. but it was a specific scent he was in search of.

johnny grabed a shopping bag then went up to the chas register. "give me all youre lemon snapginger snap butter lotion or die" he said. the cash register man said to johnny "you need to pay mony" so johnny jumped over the regiseter desk and stabbed the man in the chest with his wepin. "tell me where it is" johnny groweld. in the mans dying words he said "in a box on the top shelfe ile five" then he breath his final breath. johnny pulled out his wepin then went to ile five.he took the box with all the bottlees of lotuion and dumped it in his shopping bage. then he left the store

outside johnny applied each bottle of lotion to his entier body. with heach rub and each bottle he gained astonisheng strength. soon he finished appying. he looked no different but he smelled so good and had the strenght of a thousend men. the reason for that is this:

remember how the lotion brought all the john pieces back to like? well that lotion that brought johnny alive became a part of his blodstream when it toched him. the lotion was now a part of him in his body parts and so when more lotion is applied he gains strength. jonny was now a fughting machine. check back for next chapter to see what he will does.....


End file.
